Is there anything healthier than to make mature decisions,
to be calm and rested instead of stressed and worried?
I have not only been through an emotional rollercoaster, but
also taken a trip around the world, I have loved, laughed, hurt and cried, I
have made mistakes, I have taken both risky and wise decisions, and I have definitely
grown in the process.
Since I have been in Bolivia for over a year now, here is a
summary of what I have learned. It is obviously impossible to pack a year's
worth of experiences into one and a half pages, and if you have followed my
blog you will be much more up to date to what I have been doing, but for me it is important to put down a more objective
summary, if I can call it that.
Here is a letter that I wrote to my counselor, to whom I owe
a lot of the self esteem and personality that I have today. Thank you Ms.
Graham.
Coming to Bolivia – a
“so called” third world country and on top the poorest country in South America
– had much to do with luck. I had known from the beginning of my junior year in
High School that taking a gap year and doing some sort of community service in
South America was what wanted to do after High School. My inspiration was my
cousin, who went to Benin in Africa for a year teaching soccer, who planted the
seed of doing volunteer work abroad. It was not until right before starting my
senior year, however, that I actually
started making plans, looking for organizations that send volunteers to all
parts of the world that the dream that I had had for a year started becoming a
reality that would come true.
Even though I did not
favor one South American country over another, I did have in mind to work with
kids and possibly work with art. This narrowed my search down to only a few
links, and with much luck, I found an NGO sponsored by a program of the German
government that give money to various smaller (and bigger) organizations so
that they can send volunteers throughout the world.
The work I initially
applied for was an art workshop in the center of Bolivia that works with
children from the streets and form different neighborhoods - a project where
initiative is a must and energy and creativity even more so. It sounded very
much like me and I was more than happy when I got accepted about half way
through my senior year.
With just a few more
preparations, a two week seminar, and tears of good-byes, I was on my way to
Bolivia. What was I thinking? Mostly, that it was a crazy beautiful thing to go
off to another country without really speaking the language and with no real
idea of how things work there. Most of all, I was ready to learn and ready to
help.
When I got to Santa
Cruz de la Sierra with 28 volunteers that set off to Bolivia with me,
everything seemed great and like heaven to me. I soon noticed, however, that my
work was not what I had imagined it to be, and that I would not get to work
with kids, at least for the next few months. Still I made the best of the
situation and enjoyed learning about art and murals form my coworkers in the
art workshop. Since the situation was difficult for the workshop and they (or
we) were struggling to keep the heads above the water, it was a challenge to
start own projects and bring in own ideas. I did help out with photography
classes, but outside of the art workshop. At the workshop my fellow volunteer
and I organized a (paid) arts camp, but by the time that half a year had
passed, I realized that the art workshop was not my place to be and that I did
not feel comfortable there. I set out to find a new project, initially just
part time, and found my current job. I
now fully work at a children´s and youth center combined with a soup kitchen
and a kindergarten in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Santa Cruz. There I have been teaching art, photography,
music, English, and arts and crafts. Most of all, I’m there for the kids when
they have no one else to give them a hug or to talk.
This brings me back to
the idea of “help”. Can we – privileged persons from the western culture – even
begin to talk about helping in a culture that we don´t know, in my case without
any prior experience and even less of a professional schooling? After a year of
volunteering in Bolivia, and reflecting back on my own
thoughts and feelings, I think the word help is poorly picked. Maybe
interchanging experiences puts down better what I now feel I have done for the
past year, because for me volunteering has not only been about giving, but even
more so about what people have given me back. I have learned that with an honest
smile you can open up worlds, that by listening closely you can learn so much
more, and that being humble is the greatest gift that a person has, because the
person who gives – even more so in a non-materialistic way – no matter how rich
or poor is exponentially happier than the person who always aspire to have
more. With this secret in mind, it is always important to not lose the goal to
do something greater – if you want –the spirituality of life.
Through many factors
and again much luck, I had the opportunity to renew my contract for another
three months, until December. Being away
for two weeks visiting my family in both Germany and Chicago, and then coming
back to Bolivia to give all my kids and coworkers a hug has been more than a
blessing to me and I am so grateful that I get to broaden my work (an my
horizon) for another three months.
I plan to study
psychology and Spanish at Loyola University Chicago in January 2015 and to join
the Honors Program that looks to encourage a broad spectrum of thinking.
Observations from the past month:
Observation I Aug. 18, 2014
It's incredible how easily one gets used the once very
absurd surroundings like markets filled with hygienic products side by side
with pirated movies and fruit stands. It is also beautiful to see a city with a
diversity rich in cultures, a diversity of people and fachettes.
And it is something absolutely special to have someone next
to you in bed, whether it is a friend, boy/girlfriend, or even a cat that
cuddles up beside you.
Observation II Aug. 19, 2014
I saw a dog die today. He was hit by the taxi driver that
had driven Doña Marcia, Eva, and me back to Plataforma from the Abasto. I just
heard the yelping of the little dog and how the other dogs in the street chased
him to the ditch covered in grass. Already half crying, I ran over to the dog.
He was a small, white-haired fellow with his tong hanging out and his eyes half
closed, gasping for air. All I could do for him is pet him until he stopped
breathing while the taxi driver had not even stopped a minute to see what he
had hit.
I neither knew what to do with the dog, nor to whom he had
belonged. RIP.
In the afternoon I saw a sunset that took my breath away. The
setting, red sun was slightly covered by all the dust in the streets, which
made the light seem even more intense and the atmosphere more magical.
What a contrast of life and death in one day.
Observation III Aug. 20, 2014
What pride to see my kids at school actually engage in class
and learn what I want them to learn. It's amazing how entertained 9 year-olds
are from a simple game as shouting out the names of colors in English. I love
these little moments of success. The kids seem so much happier when they are
occupied doing something than when they do nothing.
In the afternoon I helped cut the wool of a sheep - Roly's
family's sheep :D What a peaceful site to see a sheep that usually runs away
from humans in fear lying calmly on my lap to get its wool cut off. I also
didn't know that sheep have such an oily skin.
Observation IV Aug. 21, 2014
It would be good to start writing down what I have to do and
when events are. Today I got in trouble (even though mostly with myself for forgetting)
because I had forgotten to get together my Batucada group for an important
performance tomorrow. Normally I would have had to get permission from the
teachers a day in advance so that the 7 kids could miss school without problem,
but since I forgot I would have to improvise and get the permission by talking
a bit sweeter than normally the next morning.
Observation V Aug. 22, 2014
After getting the permission at 7am from both my kid's
teachers and principals, we went back to Plataforma to see if anything still
had to be brought to the small plaza where we would support a demonstration
against violence. My coworkers had forgotten one of the big drums so that I had
to both carry the drum on my head and watch the kids on the way to the plaza.
Luckily all of them were between 9 and 14 y.o. so that they behaved well. It
was exiting to arrive at the plaza with the kids, meet up with my coworkers,
and then start to practice with the kids. Usually when we have an event like
this one, the Batukada teacher comes to direct us, but he wasn't able to come
today. This meant that I had to direct the whole group. Right as we were in the
middle of practice that was going super well, Julian arrived with all the
students from the nearby school Fe y Alegria. It was such a special feeling to
see the plaza slowly fill with over 400 students while we were playing music
and doing out thing. Above all, it made me incredibly proud how WELL my kids
played!!!! The demo against violence went incredibly well and we had many
presentations - even from the police speaking up against violence in the
community. All of the students had brought white balloons and posters. After
working hard and stressing about getting my kids together, I was rewarded with
pride greater that the sky of how well my group played. We definitely brought
life into the demonstration.
Observation VI Aug. 23, 2014
Last day of Aurora and Ricardo. We prepared dinner and
shared the experiences of the past weeks over dinner with the whole team in Plataforma.
Later, we showed pictures of the two and had heart to hearts. Aurora said
something that touched me and hit close to home: I'd like to come back, but one
never knows. What I do know is that I have all the memories here inside and
they will stay there forever." Even Ricardo cried, and I have to admit
that he impressed me. Turns out that the stuck up guy I thought him to be had
been teaching math and how to read and write to doña Asteria after finding out
that she doesn´t know.
In the late evening we started to dance. I shared a few
glasses of Cuba Libre with Pedro the polish volunteer (and an amazing guy) and
was in a good mood. Afterwards we played cards until the middle of the night.
In the end all that counts are the moments spent together, the laughter and
smiles, and the love we give and receive. That´s what I take with me every day.
Observation VII Aug. 24, 2014
Sleep
Observation VIII Aug. 25, 2014
Children need love. And a task, and someone to look up to. Most
of all, they need the chance to become someone greater.
Observation IX Aug. 26, 2014
It takes a lot to analyze feelings. But, once analyzed, it´s
amazing how realization leads to problem solving. Today: analyzing feelings
(and actions). Why does someone chose to back away from another person? Out of
fear. Why does my boyfriend keep me at arm's length? Because he is afraid of
loving me too much, of falling in love too deep, and later suffering when I
leave. There we go.
Observation X Aug. 27 2014
TEAM - work together. get along. help. together. take care. RESPECT
How can one teach in a room full of 40 nine year old kids
that should be a team but have no respect, not of each other nor of the
teacher? Almost impossible. And the kids need the lesson.......
Being told by a seven year old that I look pretty :) What a
compliment!
Observation XI Aug. 28, 2014
2nd graders are the cutest. I come into the class room and
hear a chorus of 20 kids say: Buenos dias profesora de mi corazón! (good
morning teacher in my heart) My 5th graders have told me the same once or twice
and it also touched me :)
In the afternoon: Waka Waka with Pedro. What a calorie
burner dance. But super fun!
Also: bonding with Annai and Emi.
Observation XII Aug. 29, 2014
Waking up to a love letter sent via text message :)
