Memories of the hammock in the sun

Memory I

2000

Not quite a hammock; I owned a wooden pony swing with straw hair and hollowed eyes I think since I was born.  I pushed my little baby brother on that swing him still all chubby-faced and round, I with my hair all cut off...but I might just be imagining that part.      

            Memory I.I

            I also had a rocking horse (no idea if that's what they are called) that my Grandma gave    me. I loved that horse, completely made of wood.

Memory II

2001

Drifting further away from the hammock. Fall. Making little figures from chestnuts and toothpicks with Clara, having ventured to the park before to collect the chestnuts from the ground, always in competition of who would find the prettier ones.

            Memory II.I

            2001

            Racing Clara down the stairs from her apartment to mine - four floors of wooden stairs,    polished by time and slippery enough to slide down on with pillows. Worth the scolding      of both parents that we would hurt ourselves.

Memory III

2004

Back to the hammocks. In a garden fair with the family, Mom and I trying to convince Dad that we would find a space for a hammock. In the end we bought a blue hammock to half sit, half lie in.

Memory IV

Unknown

I remember a hammock made of rope...maybe in Allensbach? Or am I making this up?

Memory V

2004

Nothing to do with hammocks. Coming back from the doctors with Daddy and Jakob after the nurse had given us both an awful amount of shots. "Dad can we go to Toys'r'us?????" So we went to the toy store to pick out a toy. Jakob picked out a green helicopter and I....Thanks dad, for being so generous with us :)

Memory VI

2007

Sun. Summer adventure with Pia, exploring the woods and streams that left our naked feet nice and refreshed, the little branches prickling the soles of our feet. The sun shining softly through the leaves illuminating only parts of our faces.

            Memory VI.I

            2006-2010

            Making pancakes with Pia, she sitting on the kitchen floor reading a book out loud and     me mixing the dough and then frying the pancakes

                        Memory VI.II

                        2009

                        Pia and I trying hard to make Berliner that never turned out.

                                    Memory VI.III

                                    2013

                                    Sitting by the little stream, me playing guitar and she sleeping on my lap.

                                                Memory VI.IV

                                                Building island landscapes out of ice cream, milk, cereal and                                                           chocolate chips with Pia.

Memory VII

2010

Eating ice-cream...going to the movies for the first time in Chicago...Alice in Wonderland...still one of my favorite movies.

Memory VIII

2010

Going to downtown Evanston with Jakes for the first time looking for shirts for him but ending up with shirts for both him and me. Thanks for confiding in me Jakes; I hope we'll have that same relationship once I come back. I miss you.

Memory IX

2010-2012

Back to the hammocks. Endless summer days in the blue hammock chair reading a book with the wind gently pushing me from one side to another. Oh Hinman ave.

Memory X

Now.

Sitting in the hammock writing, swinging back and forth the sun slowly being covered up by dark clouds. I got my share of energy. The rain can come.

Memories of a coffe cup

                                                                                                                                            5/25/2014

Memories of the Coffee Cup

Memory I

2000s

Sitting at the round dinner table with mom and dad drinking cappuccino, at maybe age 5 or 6. Springtime, maybe? At least there is a lot of light in the room. I want to try the cappuccino, but only the foam, the most delicious part, with  lot of sugar.

Memory II

2005-2006

In Konstanz with Nana, in one of the little cafés at the big market square. Ordering hot chocolate that always comes with one of the little cookies.

Memory III

2003-2004

In Boston with Annika; going out to drink hot chocolate on a gray fall(?) afternoon.

Memory IV

2004-2005

Mom picking me and Jakob up from school in pouring rain, because dad traveled. It always rained when dad traveled so that we had to take the T. Me and Jakob jumping puddles in parking lots.

         

Memory IV.I 
2004-2005

Getting stuck in the elevator with mom and Jakob; getting out of the elevator, walking a  ramp down to the platform with the Firemen and bystanders clapping; not quite understanding what had happened. Thanks mom, for keeping calm and telling us stories.  Even though I don´t remember them; I don´t remember being scared either.

Memory V

2005

Making hot chocolate with Lizzie at age 9; then taking the hot chocolate outside to the snowy yard in the cold to carefully watch the marshmallows dissolve themselves and to share secrets no one else knew.

            Memory V.I

            2005

            Sitting in the tree with Lizzie pretending we had a tree house, opening up way too many               secrets clubs with our imaginary friends. One of them was the Flower Power Club we had            a green club book like every official club has.

                        Memory V.II

                        2003-2005

Sitting in that same tree in the last rays of sun singing thinking no one was listening and making up songs with the birds giving their little solos.

Memory VI

2008

Getting up in the morning to say hi to Daddy on his platform in Friedrichsdorf and to steal a sip of tea on cold days, him answering my good morning all distracted from already working on full.

Memory VII

2008

Learning how much coffee to put into the coffee machine to make coffee for mom in the mornings and being very proud when she liked the coffee with maybe 13 years.

Memory VIII

2013

Drinking my first Cappuccino with mom on a spring day with 17, feeling so grown up and enjoying the foam just like when I was a little kid, adding a bit of Irish Cream  flavor, or maybe it was caramel.

Memory IX

2014

Making coffee for Roly adding too much instant coffee and too little sugar by mistake, and him making an adorably cute grossed out face when taking the first sip of the normally sweet morning cup of coffee.

Memory X

30 Min. ago

Carefully sprinkling sugar onto the milk foam of my cappuccino and savoring a spoonful of deliciousness, then slowly drinking my coffee and sinking into a world of memories. Until all that is left is an empty cup on a cold Sunday afternoon in Bolivia.

Those are the memories of a coffee cup.

Reflections

It is hard to see that you are a completely different person in a different country until you return to where you came from, to the roots, the family. 

I have changed immensely in the past 8 months (because, yes, it has already been that long), not only on the outside, but even more so on the inside. 

I have gone from scared to fascinated, from absolutely stunned to a breakdown, and from not knowing how to fix my unhappiness to figuring out where I want to stand. It has taken me a lot of doubting, experimenting, and a lot of mistakes that I still make, to come to a point in my crazy adventure where I can say "Hey, I´ve found a piece of home."

It might sound crazy, but in the past two and a half months that I have worked in my new project, I have gathered so much strength, self confidence, pride, and acknowledgment of the honest work that my coworkers do every day, that I now look back and think that the first half year was just a preparation for all that I am doing now, not only at work, but also on a much more personal level. 

From all that has happened, I have learned to humbly take pride in who I am and what I can do, without showing off, but at least knowing that what I do should be, and is, appreciated.

I have been working with the kids at Plataforma, continuing to teach art and photography. I love to see the smiles on the children's faces, especially now that I've been gone for  week.

I want to describe the situations of two girls to not forget them.

1. Luz Maria

Luz Maria is an open, friendly, loving, and caring 14 y.o. teenage girl. She started in my photo class, and started with music classes, both of which she dropped after a while. Now, what´s special about Luz Maria, is that she has five siblings and lives in one room with her siblings and parents. She sleeps in one bed with her parents and two brothers. This poor girl does not have a bit of privacy, not even a shower. She dropped my courses in Plataforma because she´s been doing badly in school. But every time she comes to lunch she comes with a smile. I´m really proud of the strength she has. Right now, Plataforma has launched a projects to build an extra room for Luz Maria´s family, among others.

2. ´E´ Girl with walking disability

I sadly don´t know this girl´s name, and it seems like neither does anyone I´ve asked.  E doesn´t normally come to Plataforma, but my boyfriend's mom is teaching her how to write and study her a bit, since she is almost done finishing her studies to be a special eds teacher. E is eight years old and can´t walk without a stroller. She has trouble talking but seems to understand fine. She also has the broadest smile I´ve seen in my life. Since we have a physiotherapist in my project, he asked to see the girl once and I accompanied him. He told the girl´s 12 y.o. sister who takes care of E, that E needs to sit in a cross-legged position to improve her posture. Since I do yoga, I enjoyed showing E a few simple breathing techniques. I loved to see her smile and laugh about the gestures I did with my hands.

The thing is, that E has 9 siblings and a mom that only is home on the weekends, a dad who works all day long. I hope to see her more often so that I can play with her and do yoga with her.

I spent a week with my family in Chicago to not lose my Green card (I can only leave the US for 180 days) which I really enjoyed. 

It was nice to see my mom and daddy, to hang out with my brothers, to take some down time and drive...a lot!

Even though it was hard to come back from the US to Bolivia, I realized that it was not so much the fact that I was leaving, but more like I was going through a mini culture shock all over again.

It just isn´t a day to day thing anymore to think about all the differences between the ¨western world¨ and the world I am living in right now - a third world country. It shocked me to see how differently I behave - especially with money. Here, I count off every cent and think about if it´s worth to buy something - not especially out of stinginess, but more out of necessity. Where I work the people don´t have a lot so I try and what I want and what I really need. It the US, however, I easily spent 60 bucks on cloths that I like and do wear, but that I did not need. Here, you can do a bunch of things with 60 bucks - like buy 28 lunches. Just to get the feel.

I´ve learned to love the life in Santa Cruz; especially now that I met Roly and spend a lot of time with his family.  They treat me incredibly well; are all super nice, and seem to be very happy with me. I get along great with Roly´s little sister Lauren, and I laugh a lot with his little brother. Since I work with his mom, I talk to her and confy in her. His dad is a great storyteller, and even though I often have to repeat what I say (which reminds me of my daddy hihi) I enjoy his stories.

Over the weekend we visited Roly´s grandma. I had already met her, so I enjoyed chatting with her and Roly´s aunts and uncles. I played with his niece and her dog, which I loved because the dog was only a few weeks old. I am so grateful to have met Roly and his family; as nice and open as they are; they make me feel loved even though they hardly know me. I just know with everyday more so that I don´t want this time to end and that it will tear me apart to leave because I now not only have a part of me in Germany and the US, but also in Bolivia.

Recently I went to the Chiquitania, a ´state´4 h from SCZ. Even though I only stayed day, I really want to go back and explore more, because there were so many green mountains and just beautiful nature. I took my analogue camera and I still have to develop the film so I don´t have pictures. I went with my boss and his family because we are good friends. It was nice to get to know them better.

What else. We have been practicing Batukada, a Brazilian stile of percussion in Plataforma and I am learning. It is so much fun to be in a ´band´, feel the community and unity, and the success when we play as one. Also, the music is super fun and energetic. It´s one of the things I enjoy most in my week.

I also go to yoga classes when I can, but time passes so quickly.....

Since this is kind of a reflective post I´ll end it with this:

Right now, I can feel time flying by and I and nervous and scared about what will come - but I also know that I have had an amazing experience so far and the next four months will be even greater....

Music Class

Driving 1

Making Daddy a cake

Driving 2 (hihih thanks Nico, I drive well)

Teaching my boss´s daughter Isabel to take pictures

Isabel, Roly, Me

Near my work with one of the girls

Abasto market with my coworker´s brother, my coworker Gabriel, and my BF´s mom

The Bean

Roly

Brenda

Throwback to Carnevalito

Abasto

Abasto

Abasto

Julian (my boss)

Annai

Lauren, Roly´s sister

Darkroom 1

darkroom 2

First positive photo developed by my student

Los Lotes micro 1

Los Lotes micro 2

Roly and Me

Lauren