Adventures in Bolivia: Reflections

It is hard to see that you are a completely different person in a different country until you return to where you came from, to the roots, the family.

I have changed immensely in the past 8 months (because, yes, it has already been that long), not only on the outside, but even more so on the inside.

I have gone from scared to fascinated, from absolutely stunned to a breakdown, and from not knowing how to fix my unhappiness to figuring out where I want to stand. It has taken me a lot of doubting, experimenting, and a lot of mistakes that I still make, to come to a point in my crazy adventure where I can say "Hey, I´ve found a piece of home."

It might sound crazy, but in the past two and a half months that I have worked in my new project, I have gathered so much strength, self confidence, pride, and acknowledgment of the honest work that my coworkers do every day, that I now look back and think that the first half year was just a preparation for all that I am doing now, not only at work, but also on a much more personal level.

From all that has happened, I have learned to humbly take pride in who I am and what I can do, without showing off, but at least knowing that what I do should be, and is, appreciated.

I have been working with the kids at Plataforma, continuing to teach art and photography. I love to see the smiles on the children's faces, especially now that I've been gone for week.

I want to describe the situations of two girls to not forget them.

1. Luz Maria

Luz Maria is an open, friendly, loving, and caring 14 y.o. teenage girl. She started in my photo class, and started with music classes, both of which she dropped after a while. Now, what´s special about Luz Maria, is that she has five siblings and lives in one room with her siblings and parents. She sleeps in one bed with her parents and two brothers. This poor girl does not have a bit of privacy, not even a shower. She dropped my courses in Plataforma because she´s been doing badly in school. But every time she comes to lunch she comes with a smile. I´m really proud of the strength she has. Right now, Plataforma has launched a projects to build an extra room for Luz Maria´s family, among others.

2. ´E´ Girl with walking disability

I sadly don´t know this girl´s name, and it seems like neither does anyone I´ve asked. E doesn´t normally come to Plataforma, but my boyfriend's mom is teaching her how to write and study her a bit, since she is almost done finishing her studies to be a special eds teacher. E is eight years old and can´t walk without a stroller. She has trouble talking but seems to understand fine. She also has the broadest smile I´ve seen in my life. Since we have a physiotherapist in my project, he asked to see the girl once and I accompanied him. He told the girl´s 12 y.o. sister who takes care of E, that E needs to sit in a cross-legged position to improve her posture. Since I do yoga, I enjoyed showing E a few simple breathing techniques. I loved to see her smile and laugh about the gestures I did with my hands.

The thing is, that E has 9 siblings and a mom that only is home on the weekends, a dad who works all day long. I hope to see her more often so that I can play with her and do yoga with her.

I spent a week with my family in Chicago to not lose my Green card (I can only leave the US for 180 days) which I really enjoyed.

It was nice to see my mom and daddy, to hang out with my brothers, to take some down time and drive...a lot!

Even though it was hard to come back from the US to Bolivia, I realized that it was not so much the fact that I was leaving, but more like I was going through a mini culture shock all over again.

It just isn´t a day to day thing anymore to think about all the differences between the ¨western world¨ and the world I am living in right now - a third world country. It shocked me to see how differently I behave - especially with money. Here, I count off every cent and think about if it´s worth to buy something - not especially out of stinginess, but more out of necessity. Where I work the people don´t have a lot so I try and what I want and what I really need. It the US, however, I easily spent 60 bucks on cloths that I like and do wear, but that I did not need. Here, you can do a bunch of things with 60 bucks - like buy 28 lunches. Just to get the feel.

I´ve learned to love the life in Santa Cruz; especially now that I met Roly and spend a lot of time with his family. They treat me incredibly well; are all super nice, and seem to be very happy with me. I get along great with Roly´s little sister Lauren, and I laugh a lot with his little brother. Since I work with his mom, I talk to her and confy in her. His dad is a great storyteller, and even though I often have to repeat what I say (which reminds me of my daddy hihi) I enjoy his stories.

Over the weekend we visited Roly´s grandma. I had already met her, so I enjoyed chatting with her and Roly´s aunts and uncles. I played with his niece and her dog, which I loved because the dog was only a few weeks old. I am so grateful to have met Roly and his family; as nice and open as they are; they make me feel loved even though they hardly know me. I just know with everyday more so that I don´t want this time to end and that it will tear me apart to leave because I now not only have a part of me in Germany and the US, but also in Bolivia.

Recently I went to the Chiquitania, a ´state´4 h from SCZ. Even though I only stayed day, I really want to go back and explore more, because there were so many green mountains and just beautiful nature. I took my analogue camera and I still have to develop the film so I don´t have pictures. I went with my boss and his family because we are good friends. It was nice to get to know them better.

What else. We have been practicing Batukada, a Brazilian stile of percussion in Plataforma and I am learning. It is so much fun to be in a ´band´, feel the community and unity, and the success when we play as one. Also, the music is super fun and energetic. It´s one of the things I enjoy most in my week.

I also go to yoga classes when I can, but time passes so quickly.....

Since this is kind of a reflective post I´ll end it with this:

Right now, I can feel time flying by and I and nervous and scared about what will come - but I also know that I have had an amazing experience so far and the next four months will be even greater....